Yo Ho Ho fuckers

Session summary 8/10/2016
They have taken to calling me "Scales".
Just after my father dropped me off at port Peril, I made my way to the nearest tavern to offer my services to whatever sort of ship I could be a part of. I had no intention of being picky, (after all, money was never made by having high standards) however, to my surprise, it seemed my decision was made for me as I awoke a few hours later after being drugged by some scrawny human, on board a vessel known as The Razor. My flail was gone, much like most of my things, and I figured the only way I might get them back was to do as these ignorant “officers” say. One of them, a teifling by the name of Necria, interests me quite a bit, she is a ruthless and cruel bosun, and if I can play my cards right, I would like to have her job, it would fit me quite well.They had me doing menial tasks like repairing rope and running messages around the ship, nothing I wasn’t used to, but it was no more fun, but while I worked I noticed that Mazer, the captain, was most assuredly a cut above the normal human meat who think that they are in charge. He will make taking over this tub alot more difficult.

Soon after I finished my work, a man by the name of Eric Adams approached me, at first I was prepared to demonstrate my power to the rest of the crew, but when he presented me with my fail, I thought better of it, he explained to me how important friends are to people such as myself, and told me to make a few. In addition I met a few other members of the crew, who were presumably picked up in the same fashion I was, Eric also returned a few of their things. Boothroyd, a clown who seems to take nothing seriously, amuses me quite a bit. He seems to have talents that will serve me well, despite how annoying he can be, I believe he shall prove to be a valuable ally in the fight to come. After I conversed with Eric a bit, he explained that sometimes the crew would head down to the lower levels and gamble, I thought this would be a great opportunity to make a little coin, and maybe some friends.
I noticed a gnome getting beaten badly at arm wrestling against a man who looked half dead. I approached, and offered myself as an opponent, he accepted, and I beat him badly, all the while that clown was playing announcer as we wrestled. He raised the stakes by spreading nails across the barrel we were on, offering all his money and his cutlass for half of my flail. Despite my flail being worth over 5 times what he was offering, I accepted, and beat him easily, nearly breaking the barrel and his arm. I took his money and taunted him as the ship surgeon patched him up, I don’t think he likes me very much. We ate our evening meal, and I found myself still hungry after dinner, so I caught a few rats and ate them, they were lithe and delicious. Just like home.
Later, after sleeping in some guys hammock, I awoke to the sounds of a bunch of thugs threatening Boothroyd. I took out my flail, and tried to scare them off, but one of them was stupid enough to pull a dagger. She was on the ground unconscious, with her arm torn off a moment later. In exchange for helping him, Boothroyd helped me escape punishment by telling Necria that it was a bilging accident. She proceeded to tell off the other thugs, and whip them. I couldn’t help but smile. That day, Boothroyd and I thought best we focused on our work. Later, I went down to the gambling deck, and played in a game of hog lob against Jape, one of the meat sacks who had the misfortune of facing me in combat. I lost the first two games on purpose, just to give him a little confidence, then I intimidated him into letting me when after we both had some “special” nutmeg, and I found myself 60 gold richer. I think he will prove a valuable pawn in the fight to come.
The following day, I spoke to a fellow swab named Ronan. He is a merman, I’ve tasted their flesh before, it was succulent, but this one will be more useful to me alive. He seemed honest, relatively speaking, so I let him borrow my new cutlass. My flail is a finer weapon, but he seemed grateful. He will be a fine ally as well. Then I might revisit eating him. That evening I visited Mr. Adams after eating my rations. He explained a bit about how the ship works, and a little about himself. He has been trapped on this ship too long, when I am bosun, I will see about ensuring him comfort.
The following day, I spoke to Mr. Adams some more, and as we spoke, we were interrupted by a flesh bag who called himself Moro. He is also planning something it seems, he wanted me to forgive the whores who assaulted Boothroyd and I, in exchange for the return of my equipment. I honestly had already forgotten them, but I figured if he is trying to earn favors, then the least he could do is get my things. Just then, a small morsel ran up on deck, complaining that something had attacked him while he was working the bilges. I volunteered to eradicate the creatures myself, after all, if I am to run this ship, I will need to show some initiative to the soon to be replaced officers. Ronan, Boothroyd and one other creature volunteered as well. We found the ship infested with large rats, and made quick work of them, and I managed to scarf a few down after they were killed. They had a certain flavor to them, disease perhaps? Ah well, it can only make me stronger. We found a bit of loot for the taking as well, I helped myself to gold, a few maces, and a finely crafted axe. They will come in handy I am sure.
That evening, I spoke to Owlbear, a large, yet stupid man who the captain tortured with tar and feathers for him own amusement. I pity him, and I made friends with him, his strength may come in useful. I also spoke to a man named Crimson cog, another temporary pawn for me, as well as more gold. A moment later, the quartermaster called thief, and Necria came running. I listened as Moro talked his way out of it, the quartermaster was obviously very drunk. Moro will be a fine ally in the days to come, but he may be too smart to be a pawn, I look forward to seeing his next move. Necria shouted a bit, but soon afterward, I was called over and given my things. I made myself scarce and put on my armor. I feel whole again, as I lay in my hammock, spooning my flail. I dreamt of mutiny, and glorious combat, ready for the next day.

Bad luck

I’ve never considered myself to be particularly unlucky, but after what’s happened I may be changing my opnion on that. I sat down for a drink after searching for a ship that was taking on crew, and the next thing I knew I was waking up in the hold of a ship a day out of port. Not the best start. I’m not the only new crew member, of course. There’s some clown, Boothroyd I think his name is, a wizard, and a lizard man. The wizard’s name I’m not sure of, Mara or something, and the lizard everyone calls Scales.
p. I was set to being the cook’s asssistant, despite trying to tell them that I’m not mch of a cook, and the first job I was given was hunting turtles. It didn’t go over well when I brought back a meager haul, and I got thrown into the hotbox. What fun. Well, at least I got the chance to sing without being interupted. And someone was kind enough to slip me one of my daggers. Adam’s his name was.
p. I spoke a bit with the wizard while I was in the box, but otherwise the rest of the crew left me alone to sing and sweat. And that night, well, that was certainly interesting. I watched the wizard take a few of the other crew at dice, and Scales crushed someone’s hands. Won quite a bit of money and a scimitar from him, too.
p. The next couple of days went by easily enough. I spent the day with Kroop helping in the kitchen, and got the chance to look around a bit. Found some gold the first day, and a dagger that the fool was using as a kitchen knife. I hate to say it, but the quality’s better than anything else I’ve got. Needless to say, I had no trouble putting it to better use. And as for Kroop, he’s friendly enough. Seems like he’d be willing to help if enoough of us were to take a stand against Mazer and his officers.
p. There was an incident in the bilge that same day. Young Jack was down there, and he was attacked by giant rats. Volunteers were called for to take care of them, and myself, Scales, Boothroyd, and oddly enough a mermaid jumped at the chance. For me, it was a chance for some excitement. Some. Better than working the kitchen all day, not that Kroop’s bad company.
p. The night after the rat incident was very good. Mara got Kroops and the quarter master, a half-orc woman called Grok, drunk enough to steal her keys. He almost got caught, but he managed to convince Necria that it was a misunderstanding. And with a little help, he was able to get Grok into a position to send her back to dreamland with his magic. From there, it was easy enought to find my gear. We Scale’s stuff as well, apparantly Mara and the lizard had some kind of deal in that regard, and from what I could see of the wizard’s haul he found some very interesting things. But Mazer is going to be very angry when he finds so much of his cargo missing, and I sure as hell aint taking the blame.

This Cursed Ship!
Finally i had come close to finding Van Himmler, only to be ripped from my quest and forced aboard this abhorrent vessel. The arrogance they have shown in disrespecting me. Moro The Magnificent, will prove to be their undoing, As to the ship itself is quite large, but its grandeur is undercut by the horrible stench, rotting condition, and disgusting crew. Despite this, ive managed to adapt quickly to life on board, biding my time until i can manipulate my way into control. i am already owed several favors,(the halfing Rosie, Mazars personal whores, even the quatermaster) however the majority of the crew is still unbound to me which is a problem. Most of the crew are sheep who will fall in line with whoever holds the rod, however there are a few i have taken notice of.


The first, and seemingly most dangerous, is some kind of lizard man. Nicknamed “Scales” by the crew, he is a towering thing, almost seven feet and completely lacking in fear. He seems to be trying to gain control of the crew through fear. It seems i’m lucky, i can sit back and allow my work to be done for me. a few others among the crew stood out as well. i had some interaction with an undine who spent the day in the “hotbox”, the upper deck prison box. It seems he grew up on ships, however he certainly doesn’t seem to have taken to the life of a rogue. i will specify for posterity he was put there due to some error in his work. I was expected to work as well, though of course using my magic allowed me to avoid such troublesome chores. A man of my caliber is above such things after all. i must make a note to speak to some of the more outlandish crew members, theres even a merfolk among st the crew.


i was almost undone by an incident that happened the morning after i arrived. A group, sent by Necria(an infernal woman i shall enjoy tormenting for daring to touch me with a whip) attempted to bar our passage. i took a moment to consider the use of my magic, before i could act however, Scales tore the arm off one of them. They retreated, leaving their wounded comrade who was swiftly moved to the bilge. Incredibly with the help of a young man who seemed to enjoy his company, Scales managed to avoid punishment with a series of outlandish lies. Fools, they never considered what would happen when the wounded woman awoke. That night, i snuck down to the bilge. The woman lie there, unconscious by alive. i noticed the nearby porthole and knew fate was on my side. I must admit, the reptile made my job much easier by removing her arm. it only took a few quick cuts to remove the other and she fit wonderfully, the ocean swallowing her up with a sigh. Loose threads must be cut after all.


Before ending this entry i will cataloge the most recent of my successes. by manipulating the quartermaster with drink and a few spells, i was allowed unrestricted access to the treasure hold of the ship. Unfortunately i was forced to share part of my horde in order to finalize a deal between the reptile and i, as well as return items supposedly belonging to the undine. I did manage to conceal a store of magic items however, and believe i have located Mazars main hold of magically enhanced items. They are as follows.

a +1 animal bane dagger
,a +1 short sword
a masterwork warhammer,
1 scroll each of cure moderate wounds, mage armor, magic missile, scorching ray, and
summon swarm
a wand of bless weapon (16 charges).
If im lucky i can leverage these into a position of power on board. Perhaps ill allow mazar to stay in control, he would make a fine puppet after all.


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